


Everytime We Touch

by Eryn13



Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Afghanistan, Alpha!Steve, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Aromantic, Asexual, Bisexual, Bucky is a wolf, Complicated Relationships, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Everyone is an idiot, F/F, F/M, Farsightedness, Flashback, Fluff, Fpreg, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hate to Love, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Listen to Pepper, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Natasha knows all, No one knows Tony is an Omega, Omegaverse, Omnisexual, Pansexual, Past Abuse, Past Neglect, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Rhodey is a wolf, Sam is a falcon, Shifter AU, Slight Transphobia, Slow Burn, Stony - Freeform, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony's an idiot, Wakanda is home to all Panthers, Wingfic, a lot is different, a lot is similar, aboverse, aroace, aroace bruse, bruce is a peacock, but they're a different type of panther, clint is a red-tailed hawk, demisexual, except for a tribe in south america, long ride y'all, mentions of other marvel characters - Freeform, natasha is a spider, oc charachters, omega!Tony, pepper is a cat, ruts, slight homophobia, slight rasicsm, spiderman - Freeform, tony and steve are wolves, trans-character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eryn13/pseuds/Eryn13
Summary: No one knows Tony is an omega. He's kept it that way since he first presented as one. Hiding his scent, pretending to be a beta, it was all for the best. Especially after Afghanistan. But then, because no one could smell his true smell... it meant that he was the only one who knew when he found his soulmate. And it was hell to try and avoid the truth. But he was pretty sure his soulmate hated him. And even when he didn't... he was to afraid to try. But then everything happened in Siberia, what the press labeled as a "Civil War." And he all but broke. He Shattered, went feral, whatever you want to call it. And Pepper made an executive decision. Lets just hope it all works out in the end. After all, there's a bigger threat to come.





	1. Chapter 1- Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is my first real Avengers fic, its gonna be complicated and different from real Avengers. I'll explain more about the different Au's as the story progresses and include more info on everything and how it works in this AU. The first few chapters probably won't have a ton of speaking or joking around as it is a rather stressful beginning but as it all progresses I will change that. Also there will be M/M and even F/F relationships and smut. Just not until later on. If you want a fast fic this will not be it this is gonna take a while for them to forgive and talk and even for the relationship to progress. There could be some triggering scenes but I will let you know at the beginning of the chapter if there is going to be a major scene involving some of the triggering items.  
> Also as this is the first chapter it is slightly shorter than I'd like. I will try to at least have 1k words per chapter. Please don't just ask for faster updates. Kudos and comments and subscriptions are appreciated but not expected. And please tell me your thoughts.  
> Also this is Un beta'd. I don't currently know a beta or anything on this site but if I found one I would appreciate the help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes Home
> 
> Lyrics  
> "I'm coming home  
> I'm coming home  
> Tell the world I'm coming home  
> Let the rain wash away  
> All the pain of yesterday"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my attempt at an avengers fanfic. Specifically Steve/ Tony. Obviously theres gonna be cannon divergence given the AUs I'm using but also this takes place after Civil War.

Tony Stark was an Omega, a secret only three people alive currently knew. The first was James Rhodes; Rhodey had been there the day Tony Presented and, as his best friend, had kept it a secret that he would take to his grave. Even if Rhodey personally thought Howard had been crazy to pressure Tony into keeping it quiet he understood, kinda, why Tony wanted it kept quiet. The second was Pepper Potts; the most amazing secretary, later CEO, and trusted friend of Tony Stark. As Rhodey’s mate and after proving her trustworthiness over and over Tony finally told her. She was upset with how he treated his body and had managed to convince him, after Afghanistan, that he needed to lessen the hormone pills every few months. Lastly was Happy, he was the only other person Tony Trusted with the secret, although it took coming home from Afghanistan for it to come out to the bodyguard/ driver. When Happy found out he became even more protective, if that was possible.  
Tony had fallen into a routine after that. Every three months he took a week vacation and holed himself up somewhere to deal with his heat. Then the Avengers had happened, and Tony felt like he had been hit by a truck that first time he met Steve Rogers without his helmet. The smell of the alpha, it was intoxicating. And Tony wanted to curse. Of course he had to be mated to Captain Fucking America, Captain perfect. His father's obsession. So maybe he had retaliated in anger against the Captain, pent up frustration with his body and his status all but rolling off him in waves. It was obvious, however that the Alpha had no idea Tony was an omega, let alone his mate.  
And Tony was fine with that, really. If he had nightmares about Howard yelling at him after finding out his orientation for weeks after, well that had nothing to do with Steve being his mate. Nothing at all. And then like that it all took off. Extremis, Ultron, Insight, Freaking Dark elves, and then the Accords. And that was when it all went wrong. Siberia, being left behind by his mate, being almost killed, his mate choosing another over him… even if Bucky WAS an Alpha, the Omega inside Tony didn’t want to listen. And while he had been healing he had been fine. Ok maybe not fine, but stable.  
But then he was alone in the Tower, he could have gone back to the compound but… he couldn’t deal with that right now. And when he was in the tower is when it all started. He could feel his Omega side more, even with the suppressants and the hormone regulators. Even though the scent blockers and beta cologne. It started small, with taunting remarks and neglecting his health. And then small hallucinations, breaking things and yelling at no one. Pepper had shown up, wanting to talk about Rhodey and he had had a breakdown. That's when she stepped in. Moving to take Tony to the safest room in the tower. Which happened to be his heat seclusion room.  
And then she had called Rhodey and set FRIDAY a task of finding Natasha. Meanwhile she herself had tried, when Tony was stable enough, to talk to him and get him to eat some. Finally she succeeded in getting the story, and managing to get Tony to drink a shake and eat some soup. Then she tried to get him to sleep while she made some calls.  
Natasha showed up to the Tower and, after a conversation, went to go get Steve. Pepper had gone out, with the help of the remaining Avengers and Rhody and a few other important people, to get the other Avengers permission to come back stateside. It had taken a lot of debate and wheedleing but finally they had gotten permission. And Pepper had immediately contacted Natasha with the go Ahead. But in the time this had all taken, Tony had gotten worse. He was now fully in wolf form, prowling around his cage and unable to eat anything but some meat and water. Fully feral, and probably unable to revert back. If it lasted much longer, Tony would die. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve sighs, pacing the body of the Wakandan aircraft. Moving in a tight circle, the others watching as he paced. He had been doing this since they left Wakanda. Pace, pace, pace, pause, go look out the window, come back, sit for 10 seconds, pace again. Natasha hadn’t told them much, something about they would believe it when they saw it. All they knew was that something was wrong with Tony. And now they were less than an hour out. Bucky leaning against Sam the two of them watched warily.  
“Cap c’mon, you know Tasha would have told us more if she could. Chances are she either doesn’t know more, doesn’t trust telling us long distance, or is respecting privacy.” Sam pipes up, wings moving to wrap around Bucky as the other super-soldier sleeps in his arms. Steve stopped moving, slowly turning to look at the Falcon and gave a quick jerk of his shoulders. Finally Shuri came back into the main cabin, gave one look at the pacing super soldier and walked over.  
“Sit down,” she jerked a motion to a pad on the floor, “and shift. You’ll relax easier in wolf form. “ She nodded and moved to go get the attention of a Dora Milaje and soon brought food over for them all to eat. Steve sighed and went to do as the princess had told him to. Settling down in wolf form and breathing slowly. 

After what had felt like hours the ship landed on the deck of Avengers Tower. Stepping out onto the deck they were met By Pepper and Rhody. The other wolf moved forward and sighed softly. Tension evident in his body, even down to the leg braces. Finally he moved to speak.  
“You are all welcome to take up residence again in your flowers, however we do need Steve to come with us…” He shared a glance with Pepper, the cat moving forward to lay a hand on his arm.  
“We don’t want any other alphas or omegas on Tony’s floor right now… its bad…. It's something that we can’t explain but Tony needs Steve. And we know you both will need to talk, but first… we need you to come with us.” She shakes her head, “I won’t answer any questions right now. But once Tony has smelled Steve he should calm down… and then I’ll come talk to the rest of you.” She sighs and looks up, “If Natasha and Clint don’t first.”  
Steve nods, not quite sure what's going on. Why would Tony need to smell him? Nothing made sense, but he let the others lead him. He trusted them, even after everything with the accords. Giving a mock salute to his friends he followed Pepper and Rhodey to a seperate elevator. Watching the others follow Happy to the main one. He could sense confusion emanating from everyone. And he was glad that it wasn’t just him.  
Once the steel doors shut behind him Pepper sighs and moves in front of Steve. Her hands are on her hips and eyes are narrowed. The slits of her pupils stare at him and he has the feeling she would be arching her back if she was in cat form. Silently he raises an eyebrow to her and tilts his head, as if asking what she was about to say.  
“No matter what you see or smell or hear when you step off this elevator know this. If you hurt him I will end you. He suffered in silence, not telling any of us anything. Not even Rhody or I. And that says something, because he has trusted us with all of his other secrets.” She sighs and blinks as Rhody steps over, rubbing her shoulders.  
“Another thing,” this time its Rhody talking to him, “no matter what you smell or see or hear you tell no one outside of this tower about it.” He gives a firm nod and steps aside. The doors open up behind him, and he waves Steve forward. The other wolf frowns, glancing at the other two before moving to step off the elevator. Once he’s on the main floor the smell hits him like a bowling ball.  
Steve doubles over, the purse scent of omega wolf making him gasp. His eyes flicker from blue to red and he leans hard on the wall. Gasping as he breathes in the scent. Not just omega but- “mine.” The word tumbles from Steve's lips and it's all he can do to not run off. Instead bracing the wall and walking briskly around the corridor. Following the scent until he gets to a room. The wall is tinted glass, obviously meant to hide what was on the other side but to also make it so that they could be seen if needed. He looks around the door, trying to figure it out, while Pepper races after him.  
“Steve wait!” She calls out, moving to the doors side, “Look I’ll make it so you can see but you need to promise me! Promise me you won’t just claim him! He’s not himself!” And Steve freezes, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Carefully, something that has taken him years of practice to complete, he calms himself down. Eyes back to blue when he opens them.  
“I promise, I won’t do anything like that. But I will want to cuddle. And I’m assuming that will help with the… feral state? That is what I smell right?” Pepper nods and sighs.  
“Alright, I’ll trust you.” She moves and slides her fingers along a panel next to the door, and he watches as the black glass clears. And then he stares. Inside is a wolf he recognizes well. Its standing in front of the glass and staring back at him. His eyes are the same whiskey brown, his fur a darker mottled brown, torture scars peeking out through the thick fur. Steve sucks a breath in as it all clicks into place. Tony was an omega, Tony was his omega, and he had hurt him badly in Siberia, and then left him. The air whooshes back out and he lets out a small curse. Moving to kneel in front of the glass, his blue eyes sad as he places a hand on the glass.  
“Oh…. Tony.”


	2. Chapter 2- Need you by my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve cuddles Tony and thinks about Soulmates and what it means. There also may be a bath involved, but Steve kinda wants to forget that right now.
> 
> Lyrics  
> "Forgive me my weakness,  
> But I don't know why  
> Without you its hard to survive...  
> I wan't this to last  
> Need you by my side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed some errors with my tags and went through to fix them. This chapter will explain some of the history of this AU. Its also just a decent amount of fluff and Steve trying to help Tony out.  
> I'm overwhelmed with the positive response so far! This is my first fic on this site and my first Avengers fic so its good to see the positive response. On other sites I'm on it frequently takes up to 10 chapters before I get even 1 comment. Again it's unbeta'd so don't expect too much. I am glad that people seem to like my style so far, especially since I'm never sure about it lol.  
> I'll probably be updating this fic pretty frequently for the next couple weeks (Endgame energy needed an outlet lol) but it probably won't be finished by Endgame's release.

Steve knelt by the glass, hand coming up to press against it as he looks in at the other wolf. They sit there, staring at each other for a few moments and then Tony seems to get impatient. The other wolf stand back up and starts pacing in front of the glass. A low, whimpering sound emanating from his throat as he looks at the alpha. Then he moves forward and onto his hind legs. Moving to scratch at the glass, as if to try and get out. Steve sits back on his legs and looks up at Pepper, moving to stand and get his bearings he turns to her.  
“Can you let me in?” He asks, voice soft but desperate. Pepper looks at him, worry evident in her eyes and he sighs. “I’m not going to do anything to him. But he needs the skin contact. I know how to get people out of being feral. I had to do it a lot with the Commandos in the army. I’m guessing, because he’s my mate, that it won't be too different. But because he’s my mate that means he probably needs the skin contact and soothing more than any other feral I’ve had to deal with…. Please Pepper. Please let me in. He’s hurting.”  
Pepper sighs and moves to the door, carefully going back to the panel on the side and keying in something, then she motions for him to get close to the door, Once he’s in place she presses enter and the door opens enough for him to get inside. The moment he steps into the room, saturated with smell of feral omega, he’s jumped on by the wolf. A needy, whining sound coming from him as he starts to lick at Steve’s beard. The alpha gives a small smile and moves to push him into the room some, letting the glass door close behind him and moving to sit against the wall, carefully moving the wolf into his lap and slowly running his hands over the others fur. He can feel the relief as the omega settles down, chuffing softly and laying his muzzle across Steve’s lap. Steve looks up at the door and speaks again, voice soft as he looks up at Pepper.  
“Can you get us some broth? Chicken would be best, and some chunks of meat or flaked fish? He needs food, if you could add nutrient powder to the broth that would help. And he needs more water too.” He glances around the room, which is more just a giant bed covered with pillows and blankets, a few cupboards lining the higher half of the room, and a small door off to one side that he assumes let's into a bathroom. It's obviously a heat seclusion room, and while that makes Steve’s alpha hurt, he understands. “There should be enough blankets and things in here, and I’m gonna assume the bathroom is stocked so once he settles I can clean him up some. But I’d like to try and feed him first, he feels malnourished.” Pepper stares at him before slowly nodding.  
“Anything else? Food for you?” She asks and makes a note on a Starkpad she pulled out of her purse. Steve shakes his head and gently runs his fingers through the thick fur of the omega in his lap.  
“No, nothing for me. I’ll eat what he eats, it’s a bonding thing. And it’s best to not have any smells that the wolf side can’t handle, and since I’m not 100% sure what that is for Tony it’s best if I only eat what he does. But if the lights could be lowered that would probably be for the best. His eyes are probably very sensitive.” Pepper nods and type something into the panel on the side of the door, the lights lower some and Steve sighs. Finally she looks at him, eyes narrowing for a moment before she nods and decides to speak.  
“I’m going to darken the door, for privacy and out of trust. But if you break that trust FRIDAY will tell me. When I have the food ready I’ll lighten the door again before passing it through.” She sighs and rubs a finger between her eyes. “If you need anything just tell FRIDAY. She’ll convey it to me or Rhodey.” Steve nods and gives her a small smile.  
“Don’t worry, Ms. Potts, I won’t do anything to him.” She gives him a final look over and then nods, seeming to have come to her own conclusion about him. Finally the door goes dark and Steve leans back, trying to relax slightly as he gently pets the wolf. Working knots out of his fur as he thinks.  
Soulmate. Even the word itself felt foreign in his mind. Oh sure, he knew they existed. Everyone had been taught the stories about Soulmates. But when he had been growing in, with the war and everything else, chances of finding a soulmate had been even less then they were now. Some people claimed that soulmates were a fable, a child's tale meant to keep you in line and proper. Others thought that while they did exist, the death count had simply been to high the past years for you to have a good chance of finding yours. Not to mention the random rumors that claimed soulmates only existed in Alpha/ Omega pairs.  
So Steve had never thought much about them, sure he liked the idea of one. Wanted to believe in all his heart that he had had a love that would transcend lifetimes. But for the most part he thought it was best to be in the here and now. What with certain stigmas finally breaking some. For one first gender homosexual couples had finally become more normalized in his childhood. More and more he saw two women or two men out on a date. But the secondary gender homosexual couples were still considered a sin. Which, frankly, he had always thought was poppycock. But there would always be bigots, he supposed.  
Looking down at the wolf in his arms he can’t help but wince. Oh the pain Tony must have gone through, knowing Steve was his mate, but Steve not being able to recognize Tony as his. Steve knew that scent blockers, pheromone colognes, and hormone regulators and suppressants existed. For the most part he had no issue with these things, he may have been a bit confused as to why someone would hide what their secondary gender was, but altogether he simply didn’t care enough to find out. Although Natasha had spent an afternoon ranting- educating- Steve on how useful they were for spies and also for Omegas who wanted jobs that people deemed they were “unfit” for.  
That was another thing Steve had been annoyed at. When the war was going on people had tried to enforce those stupid stereotypes, but then they realized that everyone would be needed. Hell Peggy had been not only a woman but an omega and she had been one of the best, most powerful people he had known when he was alive. And while they had had their, flirtation, it had never gone past that due to extenuating circumstances. And if anyone had ever tried to give her grief, which a few recruits had tried initially, she more than put them in their place. And Steve treated her as an equal, and even looked up to her in some ways.  
Sighing he moves slightly, looking up as the door lights back up. Blinking he watches as Pepper slides a covered tray into a slot, moving to then type something onto the panel and he watches as the slot then opens up inside the room. The tray being pushed forward so he can grab it and bring it into the room.  
“Thank you Ms. Potts,” he says softly, “it’s appreciated.” She huffs softly and nods, looking at him before moving to darken the door again. Steve gives a small smile and moves to open the tray, turning then to Tony.  
“Tony, come on I need you to try and sit up some.” He coaxes gently. Maneuvering the wolf into a position next to him, “there we go.” He keeps his voice soft, moving to get him to drink some. First the water, cool and gentle as he gets the other to drink. He’s sure it feels good on his throat. Then the broth, smiling as the wolf drinks that up. And then he settles down, carefully moving to open the last covered dish. Taking chunks of meat into his hand and slowly feeding the other.  
“You know, when I was young there were a lot of people who considered soulmates to be a child's tale.” He speaks gently, carefully as he gets the wolf to take meat from his hands. Letting his hand be licked clean after each chunk. “I had never been one of them though… I had kinda always hoped that they were real. Wanted one of my own… probably because as sick as I was I figured no one else would look at me. No one would give me a chance… that changed after the Serum but still… I was too shy and uncertain. But the idea stuck with me, even when I tried being with others. A love that surpasses time… one that has had at least two previous lives together.”  
He sighs when the wolf seems to not want any more food, gently putting it aside and drinking some water himself before moving to lay next to the wolf and pet him. Humming softly as he watches the other settle down and cuddle close to his chest. The fur tickles slightly against his face but it’s nothing he can’t deal with. Humming he gently scratches and pets, taking a moment to think before he speaks again.  
“That’s what they say isn’t it? That Soulbonds are only formed once two souls fall in love, consecutively, two lifetimes in a row. I think the standing record is 5? They say their oldest flashbacks was ancient egypt.” He hums softly, “I wonder how many you and I have had?” He whispers softly, “how many lives have we fallen in love… only for me to make such a huge mistake this time?”  
The wolf whimpers some and moves to lick his face, causing a chuckle to escape his lips. He smiles and reaches for the blankets, pulling them over and wrapping them around the two of them. Finally settling back and holding the wolf close.  
“Sleep Tony, I’ve got you. I’ll be here when you wake, but we both need some sleep.” He holds the other to his chest, sending out soothing pheromones and watching the omega settle down against him. Eyes closing he lays his head against the wolfs and lets sleep claim him.

When Steve wakes, a few hours later, its to a wet tongue licking up his cheek. Huffing a laugh he opens his eyes and looks up at the wolf that’s perched above him. Chuckling he reaches up and scratches behind the ears.  
“Hey Tony,” He gives a small smile, moving to rest their noses against each other. A laugh tumbling from his lips as he watches the wolf wag his tail. Smiling he sits up and scratches the wolf’s ears. “Think you can handle a bath?” He asks, gently, moving to stand and nudge the wolf to the bathroom. He watches as the wolf whimpers and then seems to understand what he is asking. Walking next to him to the door, which Steve opens carefully, and into the bathroom.  
It takes a few tries but Steve finally manages to get the wolf into the bathtub. And then the Wolf seems to realize where he is and decides it would be a proper time to go to the bathroom. Steve turns around once it starts, only turning back around when the sound has passed. Sighing he moves to go grab the shower head and turn on the water. Making sure it is warm enough before he begins to wash the other.  
He finds a no tear shampoo and begins to scrub and wash the Wolf carefully. Rinsing him and going to get a towel, only for the wolf to start to shake water everywhere. A small groan falls from Steve’s lips and then he laughs when the Wolf stands there, panting and looking at him happily. Shaking his head he manages to go dry the other off and then heards him back into the main room. Using a little of his alpha pheromones he manages to make the other wait there as he goes back into the bathroom to take care of his own business. Once back outside he settles back down and has Tony drink some more water and broth, placing the tray back into the slot he speaks up to the ceiling.  
“FRIDAY?”  
“Yes Captain Rogers?” The AI’s voice replies almost immediately. Making Steve smile wryly before he continues.  
“Could you see if someone could bring something for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and finely diced bacon? And some more broth?” He asks softly, “I would appreciate it.” He had noticed once he was leaving the bathroom that it was now the morning of the next day. “And… if someone could bring me a sketchbook and some pencils?” There's a pause, long enough to make Steve wonder if he’s overstepped his boundaries, before the AI replies.  
“Of course Captain.” Steve sighs and settles back down into the sheets and pillows with the wolf, waiting for the food. 

This is how the next few days pass, a routine falling into place. And Steve talking quietly to the wolf. Drawing him when he settles down to sleep, and cuddling him other times. Finally, on the fifth day, Steve wakes up to the feeling of skin on skin. And looks down in his arms to see Tony, curled close and fast asleep. A small relieved smile tugs on his lips as he looks at the other in his arms. But the quiet wasn’t going to last for long. After what felt like only a moment Tony begins to wake. And Steve is sure that once Tony is awake this won’t end well.


	3. Chapter 3-  Waking up is Like a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes, Steve frets, they finally talk... a little.
> 
> Lyrics  
> "I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones  
> Enough to make my systems blow...  
> I raise my flags, don my clothes...  
> Deep in my bones, straight from inside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a little angst so far. Might get worse once they are at the counseling appointments later on but for now it's more the two of them understand bits and pieces of everything.  
> Also the title of my story and of each chapter is biased on different songs, would you guys want a playlist of the songs to be made?

Tony’s eyes are glazed when he opens them. It takes a few blinks before the Omega focuses on the chest in front of him. The omega seems out of it still so it takes a few moments before he looks up. Eyes locking on Steve’s face and then his whole body tenses. There’s a moment of silence before the omega starts to struggle, and Steve sighs.  
“Tony, Tony stop. Tony!” The alpha lets out a small amount of pheromones and speaks firmly. Carefully he sits up and slowly lets go of the other. “Relax. I know you’re upset with me, I understand completely. But we need to talk.” Steve sighs and rubs a hand over his face, “But first I’ll call Pepper and Rhodey up and give you some time.”  
Tony stills and looks at him, clutching a blanket around his naked form. He seems skittish and unsure. Moving back Steve reaches for his bags, grabbing the water and carefully packing it up. The alpha gives a last look at Tony before sighing softly.  
“Don’t worry Tony, nothing happened. And I’m not going to force you to talk to me, I know you need time. But you can’t let yourself go like that again.” He shakes his head, looking up. “FRIDAY? Could you send Pepper and Rhodey up? Have them bring some food for Tony? Once they are here I’ll go down to meet the others. And give them some space.”  
“Of course Captain Rogers,” the AI replies, leaving Steve to sit there with Tony. He stays back, unmoving and looking at the omega. Soon enough though the glass is lightning and Pepper and Rhodey are outside. Steve stands and moves to the door.  
“You two should talk to him, and I’m going to go give him some space.” He says softly, “please let me out.” He holds up a hand when Pepper goes to speak. “I’m not going to leave the tower. Nor am I going to ignore him. But he needs to talk to people he trusts, and right now that's not me. I’ll be in the common rooms and will talk to him once he’s calmed down.” Rhodey lays a hand on Pepper’s shoulder and nods. Finally the door opens and Steve steps out. Moving past the other wolf and the cat and heading for the elevator. The last thing he sees before the door closing is Pepper and Rhodey pulling Tony into a hug. 

Tony is quiet while the alpha leaves. Eyes down on the blankets as he feels the other leave his side. Then he feels his friends arms wrapping around him and he gasps for air. Struggling with his breathing he can register Pepper’s voice as she tried to calm him down. It feel like forever but he finally manages to slow his breathing. Blinking his suddenly wet eyes and looking up.  
“Hi guys… what… what happened?” His voice is rough as he speaks. Blinking up at the others and watching his two best friends share a look. Pepper sighs and moves to sit next to him in his mess of blankets and pillows.  
“You… you went feral Tony…” Her voice is soft as she speaks to him, carefully moving to hold his hands. “I managed to get you to tell me that Steve was your mate… and then you stopped responding to me. I… I had to call him. You… Tony you were dying.”  
Tony feels numb as he blinks at his hands, the words slowly registering and he gives a small nod. Moving to play with a blanket as he thinks. He can remember bits and pieces. The voices in his head, the insanity driven from lack of contact with his alpha, and then the scent of the other. He remembers a calm feeling and the touch of his alpha. And the others voice, soft and soothing. Finally he looks up at the others.  
“Its… its ok. I understand… I just… I don’t know how to deal with him right now.” His voice is rough, and shaking. And his eyes feel wet again. He can feel Pepper’s hand on his cheeks and he turns to look at her. She looks at him and lays their foreheads together and finally speaks again.  
“You need to talk to him. You don’t have to forgive him just yet… but you need to work to that. You both need each other. You need learn to trust each other and work with each other. But you can’t be separated like that again. You two need some skin contact and you need to learn to believe in each other… Rhodey and I can’t… we can’t watch you get hurt again. Ok?” Her voice is quiet and Tony sighs, nodding he looks at her.  
“Ok… Ok Pep… for you two… but first… I need a shower… and some food… and a few moments to collect myself. Ok?” He practically pleads with her and she nods at him.  
“Of course.” She says softly, “Rhodey and I will go get some food. You go shower and get in clean clothes and we will meet you in your private suite. Ok?” She watches him take a breath and nod. They head over to the elevator together. Having FRIDAY take them up to start. 

Steve sighs as the elevator takes him down, it's taking all of his self control to not race back up there and hug his omega close. His alpha side screaming at him and growling in frustration. But Steve knows that this is better for Tony. He leans back against the wall and takes a deep breath, eyes closed. Finally the elevator comes to a stop, doors opening and steve moves to step off. The hallway by the elevator is empty. But Steve can hear the sounds of a video game and the bickering that comes along with it. A small smile tugs on Steves lips and the aloha moves towards the sound. Winding up in the living room. Looking around he sees the group he had brought back with him all gathered around playing Mario kart. The Wakandans have left but everyone else is still there.  
Natasha, Clint, and Bucky are all on one of the couches. Sam is sitting on one of the recliners, cell phone next to him like it had just been used. And one of the two love seats is occupied by Wanda and Vision. Slowly he moves forward, giving a nod to them as he waits for his friends to finish playing their round. When they are done, Natasha is the clear winner, Steve speaks up.  
“Have you all had breakfast yet? Or have you been playing this nonstop since whatever time you woke last night?” His voice is resigned and amused as he looks over the others in the room. There's a pause before Sam speaks up.  
“Well I ate. Wanda and Vision only just showed up a little bit ago, and the others haven't left this room in a few hours.” Steve huffs a laugh and shakes his head.  
“Come on you three, food. I know Bucky and I at least need some and I'm gonna guess you guys do as well… we can make something easy and big. Pepper and Rhodey will probably take some to Tony so…” his voice trails off as they all stop to look at him. “What?”  
“About Tony…” Bucky pauses, as if unsure how to continue.  
“Why did he need you Steve? And will he be ok with us being here? Clint, Bucky, and I?” Natasha speaks up, stretching before moving to stand and look at him. Steve sighs and shrugs, feeling hopeless.  
“I don't know for sure. We haven't gotten to talk yet… Hopefully we will later but… it probably would be for the best if you made yourself scarce later.” He’s hoping they'll forget the other half of the question, but no such luck. Natasha merely raises an eyebrow and Steve sighs heavily. “As for the other bit… apparently we are mates.” He gives a short answer, not wanting to tell the others about Tony being an omega yet. Not without his permission.  
Luckily they all seem to accept that as an answer and drop any other questions. Standing they all head to the kitchen and begin on breakfasts. Omelettes, toast, fresh fruit, and coffee galore. They set up in stations around the island. Bruce and Natasha chopping up fruit and veggies. Sam mixing up eggs and dealing with toast. Clint setting up plates and making everyone's coffee just how they like it. And Steve at the stove, dealing with the omelettes and meat. They run like a well oiled machine, and when Pepper and Rhodey arrive in the kitchen all Steve does is motion to a tray set up.  
“Here… that's for him.” He mumbles softly, eyes down on the pan as he cooks. “If you two want some we can make enough for you both. Just let me know.” There's silence and then Rhodey picks up the tray and Pepper speaks softly.  
“Thank you Steve. Rhodey and I ate already, but thank you. We will take this to him… and let you know when he's ready to talk.” With that she moves to head to the elevator again, everyone else finally moving to settle around the table to eat. Natasha slips into Bucky's lap and moves to feed him. Clint settles next to them, pulling her legs into his lap, and drinks his coffee. There's silence, just the slight sound of everyone eating and then Clint decides to speak up.  
“So…. you and Stark? Really? Huh… maybe that's why he was a jerk when you first met him. Although… gotta say I never thought you'd be mated to a guy… just didn't think you were gay… well I know you aren't completely gay. Not like Bucky Here- mmph!” Steve looks up in time to see Bucky shove a rather large bite of omelette into the hawk's mouth. His cheeks slightly red he rolls his eyes.  
“Clint… shut up.” Bucky says calmly, “and again, I'm bisexual. Not that you seem to realize that. Which, considering you're a beta and Nat's a female you'd think that would stick in your head. After all I can't be completely gay if one mate is a woman and the other not the same status as me.” Natasha just smiles slightly and continues eating. Steve has to hold back a laugh when the two of them start fighting. Shaking his head he leans it in his palm and sighs. This was going to be a very long day.

When Pepper and Rhodey arrive back at Tonys floor they are greeted by the sight of the omega sat on his bed, thick blanket over his shoulders and eyes focused on nothing. Moving over Pepper gently sits next to him. Getting his attention before moving to help him over to the table by the window. Rhodey follows behind them, moving to set the tray of food down and removing the cloche so that Tony can see the meal.  
There's not only coffee prepared exactly how he likes it- a vanilla macchiato with a dash of spice on top- but also a green smoothie, a western omelette with cheddar cheese, and white toast with butter and jelly. Blinking Tony reaches out and picks the smoothie up first. Downing it in a few gulps before carefully lifting the coffee and sipping it. Once the smoothie taste is gone he moves to cut into the omelette. Alternating between that and the toast and coffee until the tray is empty.  
Pepper and Rhodey watch him carefully. Trying to make sure he's truly ok. Finally when the plate is empty and Tony is holding the mug they nod. Rhodey moving to pick up the dishes and Pepper sitting down across from him. Tony takes a moment to drink his coffee again before looking up at her. She looks into his eyes and then decides to speak.  
“What can I do to make this easier?” She asks softly, waiting for Tony to reply. Sitting there, hands on her lap and head tilted slightly as she waits for his response. 

Meanwhile Steve has gone about his day. After breakfast and cleaning the dishes he went for a jog, then downstairs to the gym where he beat the crap out of a couple punching bags. Back up to his room to clean up and then back to the kitchen for lunch. Finally he settled down in front of a window. Sketchbook on his lap, open but not used recently. Instead it's open to a picture he had drawn if Tony earlier that week. The wolf form in front, silhouetted by Tony's profile in the back.  
Steve stares out looking over the grey, rainy landscape of the city. Eyes unfocused as he thinks. It had been his fault. He was such a bad alpha. A bad mate. How could he have hurt his mate like that…. even for his best friend. It wasn't right.  
His hand clenches on his lap, a tear falling down his cheek as his alpha side starts to analyze everything from the past few months. And everywhere he fucked up. He's so busy thinking that it takes a cough for him to focus back on the room around him, and realize that Pepper is standing behind him.  
Turning he looks up at her, unsure what to say. She stares at him for a moment and crosses her arms. Finally she sighs and shakes her head, moving to speak.  
“Tony will talk to you now. But Rhodey and I will be in the room next to yours. If he needs us all he needs is to call and we will be right there. Understood?” Her voice is a but snippy, not that Steve can blame her. He nods slowly and stands, setting his sketchbook on the coffee table and moving to walk over to her.  
“Of course. Please, take me to him?” There's a pause and then she turns on her heel- a truly impressive feat considering she's wearing high heels- and leads him back to the elevator. This time they go up to Tony's floor, silence all but deafening in the elevator as they ride.  
When the doors swing open to the geniuses floor Steve blinks in surprise. There's the faint sound of piano music wafting through the space. Carefully he steps out, following Pepper, and walks over to the lounge area on this floor. Once there he blinks as he sees Tony sat behind a grand piano. The others fingers stumble to a stop when he catches the scent of the alpha. Pepper moves over first, stopping to whisper something to Tony before moving to a sliding door and heading into the room next to it.  
Slowly Steve walks over to the piano. He gives the omega a single look. Relieved that the other seems healthier than he has the entire time since Steve came back. And then the alpha is kneeling in front of him. Head down and hands flat on his thighs. A sign if submission if there ever was one. Finally he tilts his head slightly, barring his collarbone for the other to see. And then, after a deep breath, he speaks.  
“I know this isn't enough to get you to forgive me. And I don't expect that. But still… I have to say this. Tony… I'm so so sorry. It's all my fault… how could I not have known? How could I not realize? My mate was right there by my side and I… i never even knew.” His voice shakes as he speaks, “and I'm a horrible mate for what i did to you… I'm so so sorry Tony. I should have tried to talk.should have told you sooner about your parents… I should have done so much differently. And if I could go back and fix it I would.” He bites his lip, fighting off tears, “but unfortunately I can't. As much as I wish I could. So this is me now… trying to make amends. No matter how long you need. Or what you want… I'll be here. I'll take it. And… I'm sorry.”  
To say this wasn't what Tony was expecting would be an understatement. The omega blinks, staring in surprise as the alpha first goes into a submissive pose… and then takes the blame for everything. And while before this Tony probably would have let him… now he sighs and shakes his head.  
“The blame doesn't fall to only one of us…. that doesn't mean I'm not hurt and angry and… So many other emotions all mixed together. But I can't let you take the blame… after all… I didnt want you to know I was your mate… and that might have been skewing my judgement some… I… I don't blame Barnes…. I'm not sure I can trust him yet but I don't blame him. And… I guess maybe in time you and I could come to forgive each other.” He drums his fingers along the top of the piano. Then moves to speak again. “I… pepper gave me this number… it's for a mates counselor… they handle… situations similar to ours… I think… I think we should see them…” his voice dies out and he bites his lip. Steve finally looks up, the alpha's eyes are shining with undead tears. Slowly he nods and then opens his own mouth, taking a moment before he seems to figure out the words.  
“I… I think that might be best. They… they could probably help us fix this better… and… I'm willing to try if you are… I know neither of us really… really believe in counseling… which is probably just due to stigma… but I'm willing to try for you…” his voice dies down, “I… I know you're probably not… not the best right now… but I was wondering… we could eat dinner? And… and cuddle some? The more skin contact… helps with the bond and the… recovering from being feral…. if you don't want to that's fine…?”  
Tony blinks, looking at the other and taking a moment. Slowly he breathes in and out. Finally nodding and smoothing his hands over his clothes.  
“I… I have a little bit of work to fix… but then yeah. If… you want to order something? We… we can use the dining room on my floor… and then… maybe put something on TV while we… cuddle?” The word feels strange but Tony manages to say it. Watching for Steve's reaction. Steve smiles and slowly stands, the smile and movements are unsure. Finally the alpha wrings his hands before speaking .  
“I'll… I'll go cook something actually. Just… call me when you're ready for me?” Tony blinks and gives this a thought, finally nodding and standing as well. The omega moves to go to the sliding doors, hands paused before he pushes them open.  
“I'll let you know a little ahead of time… so you can set things up…” He gulps and opens the door, slipping to the other side before closing it. Leaving the super soldier standing in the middle of the room, alone. With a last nid Steve turns and walks from the room. Determined to make this better


	4. Chapter 3- Having so Much to Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a date... kind of... and then counseling. Which is hard.
> 
> Lyrics  
> "There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
> But that's not what gets me  
> What hurts the most was being so close  
> And havin' so much to say  
> And watchin' you walk away  
> And never knowin' what could've been"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter. Not quite sure if it came out right but oh well. And next chapter introduces Peter! :3

Steve heads down to the kitchen, moving to look in the fridge and biting his lips. He knows Tony loves Italian food, it reminds him of his mother. But he’s not quite sure what he can make. Looking over the ingredients he hums softly. Finally glancing up as if looking for the AI before speaking.  
“FRIDAY? Do we have the ingredients for bolognese?” He asks softly, “and… could you help me find a good recipe for it? Something Tony will like?” He steps back and waits for her reply. Finally a recipe appears on the wall- something he hadn’t noticed had a screen built into it before- and then FRIDAY replies.  
“We have the ingredients for this recipe of bolognese. It’s one of Mr. Stark’s favorites.” The AI replies, “I have highlighted the ingredients and would recommend you pull them all out and prepare them before beginning.” Steve nods and moves to get the ingredients out. Pancetta, italian sausage, ground beef, onions, celery, carrots, bell pepper, tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, salt, pepper, worcestershire sauce, marsala wine, basil, parsely, thyme, rosemary, bay leaves, and sugar. Carefully he measures the spices and sugar into small dishes- something Bucky always scoffed at- and then moves to dice the vegetables. Pulling a pan out he finally starts on the main event.  
Filling the pan with water it goes on a back burner to bring to a boil. Then he moves and begins to saute the veggies and garlic in some oil. Once they are softened he adds the pancetta to brown. Then the rest of the meat goes in and he adds worcestershire sauce on top. Once that's crumbly and brown he splashes in the wine to deglaze the pan. Moving to mash the crushed tomatoes and pour that and the paste in. Adding a little vegetable stock to melt the paste into the sauce. Finally he adds the seasoning and leaves it to cook. Moving to put the pasta on and clean up the dishes.  
He carefully sets up a tray- adding bread with butter, parmesan cheese, drinks, and then sets the plates there so he can pile the food on. Moving to strain the pasta and then dish that and the sauce. Mixing the sauce so it coats all the noodles before he plates it. He texts the others to let them know dinner is in the fridge and then blinks as FRIDAY speaks.  
“Captain Rogers? Mr. Stark is giving you the ‘Ten minute notice’.” Steve smiles and moves to lift the tray and go to the elevator.  
“Thank you FRIDAY. Could you get the elevator for me?” He asks politely, watching the doors open and stepping inside. Once inside FRIDAY takes over, leading him back to Tony’s floor. Once there he steps out and moves to set up the table. Asking if there is a table cloth he could use. Once it's found he lays the white cloth out. Red and gold table runner down the center of the small table. Then the plates get set out. Drinks poured and set with them and the silverware. Finally he moves to set the bread basket in the middle. And just in time the elevator doors dings open again. Blinking Steve looks up, watching as Tony walks over.  
The other has obviously forgone his normal cologne because Steve can still smell him. Moving back he gives a nervous smile to the other. Moving to get the others seat for him, watching as Tony quirks an eyebrow up. An amused look appearing on the omega’s face. Steve blinks and blushes, ducking his head as the other comes to sit down.  
“Ah… sorry… habit.” He mumbles softly, moving across the table to his own seat. “I uh… I thought italian would be good.. Comforting and maybe easier to get down? I… I hope you don’t mind but I asked FRIDAY for some help picking the recipe.” He bite his lip and looks up at the other. Tony looks at him and then down at his plate of pasta. A small, sad smile tugs on his lips and he nods. Moving to take a bite.  
A breath Steve didn’t know he had been holding whooshes out. Moving he begins to eat as well. And there's silence between them. But… it's not uncomfortable like Steve thought it might be. They eat quietly, every once in a while one reaching out for a piece of bread or more cheese. And then finally their plates are empty. Steve then stands and moves to gather everything back onto his tray. Planning on just leaving when he hears a soft voice speak. Blinking he looks up and over at Tony.  
“Do… you want to get some gelato together?” He asks, “I… not leaving the tower… I have some in my private fridge… we could… cuddle and eat that by the tv?” He is looking at his hands, talking quietly and Steve blinks again. Finally the super soldier nods slowly.  
“If you want… can I use your kitchen Tony?” He asks the other softly and looks at him. Finally Tony looks up, nodding and giving a small smile to him.  
“Yeah… I’ll go pick a movie and set up the blankets… then I’ll come join you.” He stands as well, moving to the small sitting area as Steve heads into the kitchen. Steve moves to wash the dishes- by hand- and is drying them when Tony walk in. “So you know we have a machine to do that… right?” Tony sounds both resigned and amused. Steve looks up at him and shrugs.  
“Yeah… habits are hard to break I guess.” He says softly, moving to finally put the dishes away. “Ah… gelato.. Freezer right? Do you want toppings or anything?” He asks unsure, which causes a grin to appear on Tony’s face.  
“Oh Steve… no. Unless you are going to a nice gelato shoppe that makes their own toppings you just eat it plain.” Tony shakes his head, as if he can’t believe he has to explain that, and then walks over to pull the gelato out of the freezer. “Pineapple, blood orange, and berry gelatos. I tend not to love the store bought flavors if they aren’t fruit baised. The scoop is over there-” he motions to a drawer, “can you get that and the bowls out?”  
Steve nods and pulls those out, also moving to grab the ice cream spoons so they can dish and then move to eat. Once everything is dishes, and the food is put away, Tony takes Steve’s hand and pulls him to the couch. Both of them trying to ignore the humming that jolts up their arms at the touch. Moving onto the couch they settle in, Tony leaning against Steve’s chest, and press play on a movie. It’s something Steve hasn’t seen yet so the soldier looks at the screen with interest as they eat their gelato.  
Once they have finished the ice cream Tony takes the bowls and drops them on the coffee table. Turning in Steve’s arms and closing his eyes as he leans against his chest. Breath evening out as he snuggles closer, relaxed even though he hasn’t yet fully forgiven the other.  
“Stay…” He whispers, “please….” and with that his voice drifts off. The omega falling to sleep in his alpha’s arms. Steve’s eyes soften, one hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind the others ear. Then he pulls the blankets closer and settles down with him. His own eyes falling shut.  
“FRIDAY? Lights down to 10% and turn the movie off… please?” And that's the last thing he hears before he falls into his own sleep. Arms wrapped tight around the other. 

When Tony wakes the next morning it's to the smell of alpha. He blinks his eyes slowly and looks at the chest he has his head on. Eyes trailing up to the others face he blinks again, surprised the other is still there with him. A small sound of surprise falls from his lips and then Steve opens his eyes. The alpha looks down at him, hes obviously been awake for a while now.  
“Morning Tony.” He says softly, giving the other a small, wry smile.  
“You're still here…? What about your morning run?” He asks, voice thick with sleep.  
“You asked me to stay, so I stayed.” Steve replies simply, “I can always run later.” Tony nods slowly and begins to wiggle. Steve blinks and then opens his arms, letting the omega stand before he sits up himself. “Do you want breakfast Tony? I can make something?” The omega pauses and nods slowly.  
“Ah… yeah. I need to shower and get dressed… but then… I'll meet you in the communal kitchen… ok?” The omega seems a little nervous and Steve simply smiles and nods. Moving to stand as well. With a small nod the alpha heads down to his own floor.  
Tony lets out a breath and moves to go shower. When he's out and getting dressed- an ac/dc shirt and some jeans- there's a knock at his door. Blinking he moves over and opens the bedroom door. And there is Pepper, carefully she steps inside and turns to him.  
“Tony… I set up a mates counseling appointment for later this afternoon. Ok? They'll come here to the private study and you two will join them. I expect you to tell Steve. Other than that Rhodey and I have to step out, we have some work that can't be done off site today so we will be gone from 12 to 4:30. But if you need us FRIDAY has been instructed to bypass the protocols and contact us for you. Ok?” Her voice is soft, eyes searching as she looks at him. He gives a small smile and nods, moving to hug her.  
“I'll be ok Pep. Promise.” He speaks softly as he hugs her and then steps back. “I'm gonna go eat breakfast with Steve in the communal area. I'll tell him then. So… ride down with me?” He asks her softly, waiting. Finally she nods and smiles, and together they go to the elevator and head down to the kitchen.  
When they make it down to the kitchen they blink as they hear the sounds of bickering. A small smile tugs on Tony's face and he shakes his head. Moving to walk into the kitchen he stops and stares. Natasha and Clint are there, so is Sam and a girl Tony has only seen a couple times… Darcy he believes her name is? And while they all argue Steve stands watching over a waffle maker. Bacon, sausage, fruit, and coffee already set on the table. As they notice him the bickering comes to a stop. There's a pause and then Natasha walks over to him.  
“We …. weren't sure if we should be here… we know you probably don't want to see Bucky… so we weren't sure if you'd want us here?” Tony blinks and then seems to realize, Natasha smells like both Clint and Bucky. Oh. Shaking his head he moves and hugs her.  
“I won't do anything. You can get him. I just… it'll take me time. Ok?” She nods and together she and Clint go to gather their other mate. Tony turns and says goodbye to Pepper before moving over to the table. Picking up his iron man mug and drinking from it. Its quiet for a moment and then Darcy speaks.  
“Ok iron man weigh in on this- pop tarts or toaster strudels?” she seems completely serious as she asks the question and Tony watches as Sam throws his hands in the air and groans.  
“Uhhhh…. toaster strudels??... why?” He is confused and watches as Sam goes from annoyed to grinning.  
“Hah! Told you! Toaster Strudels are god’s food!” Darcy groans and mutters something into her coffee. Then Steve is moving over and placing plates of waffles on the table. Finally people file back in- Tony and Bucky sat far from each other- and everyone begins to eat. Once the meal is done Tony moves to help with the dishes. Finally speaking quietly to Steve.  
“Counseling at 1:30… in the study. Ok?” He asks softly, looking up from under his lashes. There's a pause and then Steve nods. Tony looks back down, “I'm gonna go get some work done… I'll see you in a bit.” And with that he leaves, moving to go work on some repairs in his workshop.

Hours later they both head to the studio. Meeting outside the doors before walking in. Once inside they are greeted by a young looking woman. She has long black hair, dark green eyes, slightly darker skin, and is wearing business casual clothes. She has set up by the couches and chairs and stands to great them. When she does they catch sight of a mating mark on her wrist, signifying that she's an alpha. Moving she shakes their hands and motions for them to sit down.  
“Now… shall we begin?” She asks softly, “I know this will be hard. Both due to stigma, time, and the type of men you are. But this will help you both, and hopefully help your relationship. To start I want to explain a few things. When you are here this is a safe space. You can say whatever you want about your mate, argue, yell, but no violence. And I will hear both sides and help you talk about it. At the end of each session I will give you some task to do until our next session. Something to help restore and strengthen your bond as well as renew your trust. Lastly I want any arguments outside of here to be recorded and brought in. That way you can both discuss it at a later date with a clear head. Now, let's start. Mr. Stark? How do you feel now that your mate is home, and knows you are his mate?”  
“Its…. overwhelming. It's like… we are so close… and I have so much to say but… the words won't come. I can't figure out what to say… there's all these emotions and I can't straighten them out…” his voice cracks a little and he shakes his head, unable to continue. The counselor nods and turns to Steve.  
“And you captain Rogers?” she asks softly, having made a couple notes on a pad. Steve bites his lip and then takes a breath before speaking.  
“I just… wondering what could have been… if I hadn't messed it all up…” And like that their first session takes off. Both making remarks, finally expressing their emotions and then the counselor nods.  
“Ok I want you both to keep a small set of notes. On a tablet, phone, or with paper. Whatever works. Just, I want your emotions with each other through the week and what you think spurred them. Any arguments would be documented as well. Lastly I want you both to do something small for the other. A genuine kindness to strengthen your bond. And… more skin contact. Even if it's just small things.” With that she nods and stands, leading them to the door. “I'll see you in a week and I want you to bring your notes so we can talk about them.” She moves to leave, leaving both of the others there. There's a moment of silence and then Steve mumbles something softly.  
“Huh? What was that?” Tony blinks and looks at the other confused.  
“I uh… I said maybe we could… try to do a date night once a week too? Is… is that ok?”  
“Ah… sure….” Tony nods and sighs, “yeah of course Cap. Oh! Ah… do you want to come to the lab with me? Someone is coming over… I'd kinda like you to meet him…” he bites his lip, “well… meet him again… he was there… at the airport before but… well he's a good kid… and I think… I think I want you to to meet. Ok?” Steve blinks and nods, slowly giving a small smile.  
“He must be important. Yeah, yeah I'll come. And Tony… thank you.” He whispers softly, and together they go down to the lab. Tony ordering FRIDAY to send down some snacks. Steve takes a small breath and looks at Tony's back. Part of him is grateful…. but another part can't help but think he doesn't deserve forgiveness.  
When they arrive to the lab it's empty. Tony moving to talk to his bots and pull something up on a screen. Steve blinks, unsure what to so before going to sit. He has a sketchbook on him and moves to pick it up and doodle. There's a few moments of silence and then the elevator dings again.  
“Whoa! Oh wow Mr. Stark! I can't believe you invited me to come here! It's like your own batcave! It's so awesome!” and Steve looks up, because that's the young voice of spider-man for sure. And he stares in shock at a young teenager who for all reasons looks far too normal.


	5. Chapter 5- All the things he said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets Peter Parker, has a talk with Bucky about his guilt, and Bruce comes home. 
> 
> Lyrics  
> "All the things she said  
> Running through my head  
> This is not enough  
> I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost  
> If I'm asking for help, its only because  
> Being with you has opened my eyes..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Easter happened and it was crazy and I felt super dead by the end of it all. If I can I'll post twice today but I'm not sure if it will happen or not. I also completed my playlist for the songs each chapter is based on. Its more just specific lyrics from each song So I'll add those to the chapter Summary. Here's the playlist for now-  
>  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2cJEVfumcVb3WlFS9HqaRzGLaKnZ6aIQ

Tony huffs a laugh and turns to the other. “Peter,” he shakes his head, offering a smile to him. “A batcave? Come on mine’s much cooler.” He teases the other and chuckles, watching as Peter looks around in awe. The shakes his head as the younger boy does a double take at the sight of Steve sitting there. The spider-boy tenses and looks between him and Steve. Tony chuckles and waves a hand.  
“Stand down Spider-kid. He’s ok.” He motions for the other to come over, “I had a few thoughts about your suit. Ways to make the binder easier to use for a long period of time. More breathable, and all together less likely to make you feel like you’re suffocating when you do a lot.” He waves the other over, “if it works ok I can even make a few for you to wear normally.” Peter grins and bounces over, hugging him quickly and moving to look at the screen with him.   
“Oh wow! I never thought about using that material… and the silver webbing would help with sweat and smell… oh that’s so cool!” He gushes and Steve can’t help but smile. Watching the two interact and sitting back. Moving he picks up his sketchbook and begins to draw. After a while Tony is talking to him and he pauses and looks up.   
“Yeah?” he asks softly, giving a small smile. Tony shakes his head and moves to stand with them.   
“Steve, meet Peter. Peter, Steve. You kinda met before but… I thought you should both meet for real. Peter is an intern for me now.” Tony waves a hand between the two of them, and then sighs. “Peter… Steve is my… my mate.” He says softly and watches Peter blink and look at him. The teen goes through a bunch of emotions before settling on shock.   
“Oh… wait… uh… ok then…” Peter nods, “right I can handle this. Its all ok. Totally ok… Mr. Stark you had me fight your mate???” He finally explodes and stares with wide eyes. Steve chuckles softly and waves a hand at the other.   
“Its ok don’t worry kid. We were both kinda being stubborn idiots at that time so… yeah don’t worry I don’t blame you.” Steve smiles and watches as Dumm-E rolls over to pass Peter a stress ball. Chirping slightly as he gets the spider-ling’s attention. Peter takes the ball and pats Bumm-E on the head. Squeezing the ball and calming down slowly. Finally he nods and turns back around to face Steve.   
“Ok… question… you’re not really like those stupid detention videos are you?” Peter tilts his head, curiosity in his eyes as he looks at the other. “Cus those always seem so stuffy and you don’t seem like that at all.” Steve groans, head falling forward to hit the desk and then groaning again.  
“Oh god, for fucks sake do they really still show those things?” He rolls his eyes and sits back up. “Yeah hell no. Those were an agreement with the government in order for me to get back payments for the years I was a capsicle.” He uses Tony’s term jokingly and smiles. “You should see the bloopers. I was so done with everything.” Peter grins and pumps his fist up. Steve then thinks and makes a comment. “Oh yeah… hey.. What's a binder?”   
Tony and Peter blink at the sudden topic switch. Peter make a slightly uncomfortable face and Tony holds up a finger. They wander off and Steve can hear whispering. Desperately trying to ignore it he sketches until they come back. Looking up he can tell it's an uncomfortable subject for the young man.   
“Sorry, you don’t have to answer I was just curious. I’ve never heard the term before and I didn’t want to mess up understanding.” Steve apologizes, not sure what he did wrong. Tony gives him a half smile and shakes his head. Moving over and sitting next to Steve.   
“Its ok Cap. It’s not a big secret or anything. Peter is just worried about being judged. But I explained that if anything you’d probably go beat up the punks that like to make fun of Peter. So yeah. Uh a binder is… it’s a tool for trans men. “ He holds up a hand, “don’t worry I’m going to explain everything so hold your questions.” He takes a breath and Peter puts his hand on Tony’s arm.  
“I’ll take over Mr. Stark… and you can fill in the blanks ok?” Peter gets a nod from Tony and then takes a deep breath before speaking. “OK basically I was born in the wrong body… I was born female but I identify as male and am thus considered a trans male. Trans is a fairly new term but Trans people have existed all throughout history. We are the same as everyone else just born in the wrong body. So we tend to try and fix this, because it can cause a lot of mental issues if we don’t. So for me its… binding flattens breasts to give the illusion of being a born male. It's easier for me because I don’t really have a lot of… chest in the first place. Uhm there's also medicine- hormones we can take to fix our appearances- and surgery too. But like it's considered ‘controversial’ for a lot of people because of religious bigotry and other issues… so yeah a kid at school found out and told everyone and now thats a nightmare except for a few kids who are cool.”   
Tony rubs a hand on his back, calming the fast talking teenager who takes a breath and swings his arms. Steve looks up and nods slowly, putting his sketchbook down and cracking his fingers lightly, pressing out from his body as he does.   
“Well thats ok. And yeah I knew people like that back in the army. That's not a new thing, ya’ll just have words for this stuff now. Like I didn’t know what ‘bisexual’ was but I knew I was it. So yeah.” He frowns, “But I do kinda want to talk to this young man that bullies you. I hate bullies.” Tony chuckles softly and watches Peter give a small smile.   
“As nice as that would be its ok. I’d rather not try to explain the sudden influx of superheroes at my school defending me.” Peter chuckles and with that he goes back to work with Tony. Steve stays a while longer before standing and stretching.  
“I’m gonna go spar with Bucky… thanks for this Tony, Peter it was nice meeting you.” He waves and heads out, heading down to the gym. 

Steve meets Bucky in the gym, he had arrived before the other super soldier so he was in the middle of beating up a heavy bag. When the other arrived he moved over, a frown on his face. This wasn’t Steve practicing, this was Steve releasing anger. Bucky waits until the heavy bag has snapped off its chain and falls to the floor, split in half. Bucky sighs and moves over to gently rest a hand on Steve’s arm.  
“Hey, what's up?” He asks, tugging the other away from the bags and to the ring where they were gonna practice. Steve grunts and grabs his bottle of water, taking a gulp before climbing into the ring with Bucky. The two can talk as they spar.   
“I’ll tell you in a moment… need a distraction.” He quirks his fingers, urging the other alpha to attack. Bucky nods and heads in, fast and low. Steve counters, and the two of them move in tandem. Both knowing the others style to well. Finally when they are locked in a grappling pose Steve grunts. Bucky managing to pin one of Steve’s arms back snorts.  
“C’mon punk. Talk.” He urges, both of them springing back from each other after a good twist. And Steve sighs and nods, moving to continue the fight as he speaks.   
“It's just… all the things he said…”   
“He? Tony?” Bucky interrupts for clarification. Watching Steve nod before rolling under and coming up behind him. Bucky pivots quickly, catching Steve’s fist in his hand.   
“Yeah… Tony. Everything he said is… its racing around my head. Like I can’t settle. Just… God buck there’s a really bad scar on his chest now… and it's from my shield.” Steve curses and dodges a punch from the others metal arm, “I’m his mate… his alpha… and… he knew. He knew that I was when that happened… fuck I can bet how much turmoil that put him in. I’m supposed to protect him and cherish him… instead I beat him up and left him to freeze with a dead suit.”  
Bucky’s fist connects with Steve’s jaw, and Steve has to take a moment to be glad that it was the non-metal arm. Cursing Steve rubs at his jaw and glares at Bucky. But the other alpha is already frowning at him. Growling lightly when Steve tries to make a move Bucky jumps on him and pins him to the floor.   
“Listen here punk! This isn’t your fault. Not completely. You both fucked up, you both need to work this out. But wallowing in guilt for things you didn’t know isn’t gonna help anyone. The two of you may take some time to repair this shit- hell I know it took time for Tash, Clint, and I. But that doesn’t mean you won’t fix it. And beating up punching bags left and right while you drown in what ifs and torn up alpha instincts isn’t gonna help anyone.” Bucky watches as Steve’s chest heaves. The other alpha’s eyes flash red for a second before he seems to calm down and nod.  
“Yeah… yeah… I know… I know Buck… but I still can’t… I can’t help but get swallowed by the waves of guilt. It just overwhelms me. And I can’t seem to fix it…” Bucky nods and tugs the other up into a hug.   
“I know punk… but you gotta try. Even just talking to someone about it. You can’t just hide down here. Promise me you’ll talk when you feel like this… ok?” Steve takes a moment before grudgingly nodding. Finally the two stand up, moving to get their drinks. When they are packing their things up, and picking up the dead punching bag is when Sam enters the room.  
“Here you two are! Dinner’s in 10, may want to hurry up. Bruce is back.” Sam says, a somewhat dark veil falling over his face before he shakes it off and waves. “Hurry up upstairs. Ok?”   
Sam waves and turns around, Bucky and Steve moving to toss the heavy bag down the replacement shoot and then heading to go get showered and changed for dinner. Bruce was back. It had been two years but Bruce was back. They couldn’t help but wonder how or why this had happened suddenly. But from the look on Sam’s face they were betting Bruce wasn’t in a good place. Steve moves to the elevator and pauses before putting a floor number in.  
“Hey, FRIDAY?” He asks biting his lip slightly.  
“Yes Captain?” The voice replies and a small smile tugs at his lips.   
“Is Tony still in the lab?” He tilts his head and waits for a reply.   
“Yes it would appear Mr. Stark and Mr. Parker are both still in the lab. Would you like to go there?”  
“Ah yes please. I think they should come up for dinner.” With that the elevator heads to the Lab. Steve fidgeting slightly before the doors open. When they do and Steve steps out he blinks at the sight before him. Peter is crawling along the ceiling to clean up… what looks like a goopy mess of spider webs and green smoothies.   
“Uh… what exploded?” He asks looking around for Tony. When he sees the other he’s not where he expected him to be. Instead of at his desk he’s in a corner with his three bots and seems to be checking them for faults. Moving over he speaks up. “Tony?” The other looks up and smiles.   
“Oh hey cap! Whats up? You’re back quick?” And Steve has to shake his head.   
“Actually its been a few hours. And I think you two should come up. Dinner is ready and apparently Bruce is back.” It takes a moment to sink in but when it does the omega’s head snaps up, eyes wide.  
“Brucie-bear is back?” He grins and bounces up. Looking up at the ceiling. “Hey its ok Pete! You got almost everything. Come on it's dinner time. With your metabolism I know you’re starving!” Steve watches as the kid blinks and looks down, a grin on his face.  
“Oh thank god. I thought I’d have to make another green smoothie to survive… and that didn’t go so well the first time.” He swings down, landing next to the trash can, and tosses the goop away. “Let’s go Mr. Stark!” And Steve smiles as they both head to the elevator. Following close as they step in and move to head upstairs to talk to Bruce and have dinner.


	6. Chapter 6- Memories consume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is home, Tony manages to talk to him. Then later Tony has a nightmare, but luckily Steve is there to help
> 
> Lyrics  
> "Memories consume, like opening the wound  
> I'm picking me apart again  
> You all assume I'm safe here in my room...  
> I don't want to be the one the battles always choose...  
> I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean  
> I don't know how I got this way  
> I know its not alright...  
> I try to catch my breath again"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions of past abuse, panic attacks, delusions due to FERAL! State, Homophobia, and betrayal. Please be careful when you read this chapter and use your best judgement. It is an angsty chapter with a hint of fluff for good measure.

When they arrive in the dining room its to bickering and joking. Which is normal for the tower, the difference being a very tired Bruce standing at the stove and cooking butter chicken. Tony can tell the other is shaking a little and he moves over to his side. Gently pulling the beta from the stove and into a hug before then turning to the others.   
“Ok come on guys we should be helping. I know Brucie-bear likes cooking but that's no excuse. Peter, Clint can you two set the tables? Wanda, Vis pour drinks? Nat and Bucky are handling side dishes and the naan I see. Which means Sam, Steve and I can dish things for everyone.” He nods firmly after giving everyone their jobs and there's a moment of silence before people get to work. Steve quirks a smile as he watches Tony move to gently urge Bruce to get some sugar in him and sit down.   
Finally Tony turns to help Steve dish the food out of the cooking pots and into family style platters. Then Steve passes those platters to Sam who moves to set them in the center of the table as everyone else finishes their jobs and goes to sit down. Moving out to sit as well they take stock of the mish mash of food. Butter chicken, jasmine rice, naan bread, mango chutney, eggplant in tomato sauce, and aloo masala. It was obviously Bruce’s influence and Tony had a feeling it was supposed to be comfort food for the other.   
Once everyone is sitting the food begins to be passed around, dished onto plates and then put back in the center of the table. Everyone begins to eat; Tony coaxing Bruce to eat more before the other falls asleep, obviously exhausted. Once the food has been decimated. Two super soldiers, a teenager with a super high metabolism, an adult who needs more calories because of transforming into a ‘green rage monster’, and six ‘normal’ adults tend to eat a lot. And still somehow everyone has room for dessert. Carefully Tony has people clean up the dishes, and then urges Bruce into the kitchen with him to make dessert.   
The others leaving for the living room to give the two some privacy. They know if anyone can get Bruce to tell them what happened it would be Tony. When they are called back in for dessert, a homemade tiramisu and cups of coffee booze set on the table, Bruce is steadier and Tony looks upset. Finally everyone settles back down at the table and Tony takes the head.  
“Bruce got sucked into an interdimensional portal which took him to another planet. Apparently he’s been basically fighting death matches there for the past two years as The Hulk. And the only reason he's Bruce again is because Thor crashed on the planet to.” Tony cuts more of the details that Bruce told him. Not wanting to break the others privacy before continuing. “Bruce is back, he’s gonna rest and recuperate. He said a ship full of asgardian refugees should be following shortly. That they had enough power to send him back immediately but not enough to bring everyone here. And that we should get ready.”   
There's a beat of silence and then Tony nods, sitting down and watching as everyone digs into the dessert. He makes sure Peter eats two slices, slowly nibbling his own slice, before moving to walk the spiderling to the door. Hugging the kid he smiles and ruffles his hair. Watching as the other heads down the elevator and back to his aunts. Then he moves to go back downstairs, determined to get some work done. He can’t shake the feeling that these upgrades will be needed sooner rather than later. 

It is much later when FRIDAY alerts Steve that something is wrong. The super soldier had gone to watch movies with some of the others, while more of them had split off to do whatever they planned. It ended up being Sam, Bucky, and himself watching a movie. Finally, around 1 in the morning Sam and Bucky head off to their rooms and Steve moves to go to the elevator. That's when FRIDAY speaks to him.  
“Captain Rogers? Mr. Stark seems to be in great distress. I can not wake him and I believe it would be of much help if you went to him now.” Steve doesn’t even hesitate, climbing onto the elevator and ordering her to take him to Tony. Instead of going up they head down to the lab, Steve having to hold back a curse about stubborn mechanics.   
When he arrives in the workshop he sees the mechanic on the floor. Obviously fallen from the chair. And he’s whimpering, shaking on the ground. Tears falling from his eyes even as he sleeps. Cursing Steve rushes over to try and wake the other. 

Tony had fallen asleep working on a new arc reactor design. In all honestly it had probably not been the smartest idea to come back downstairs and start working again. But Tony had been too afraid of the nightmares he knew would come if he laid down in his bed. He hadn’t been expecting his body to be so exhausted that he fell asleep down in the lab even. Sure he used to do that all the time, but he had had enough rest the previous night and plenty of caffeine so he didn’t see why it would happen again.   
Boy was he wrong.   
His eyes slipped shut, designs pausing in their work as his head slumped forward to hit the desk. But even that didn’t wake him, instead he slipped deeper into sleep. He had been asleep maybe an hour when the dreams came. A terrifying mix of memories, visions, and his own self loathing thoughts. It began, as it always did, with Howard.   
_“... what use is a fucking omega to me?! All you’ll be good for is breeding and taking care of the house. You may as well tell me you’re a fucking faggot to!” And the sound of shattering glass as a bottle, mostly empty, whizzed past his ear. The wolf slunk farther back into the shadows, hearing Jarvis come in and manage to wrangle Howard away and to bed to sober up. Then the wolf crept back out, blood trailing from one ear and a paw as he tried to sneak to his room._  
**FLASH**  
A hard slap, head cracking to the left as his father smack him. Blood in his mouth and buzzing in his ears is all he can hear. Eyes blurring as he tries to focus. He can’t hear what his father is saying but he can imagine. He’s heard it all before. His eyes water and then, everything fades to black.   
**FLASH**  
Suddenly he was in the cave, water covering his face and unable to breath. Pulled back out when the car battery sparks badly. The smell of singed skin and fur making everything worse. He can taste blood in his mouth, eyes bloodshot as he finally agrees. At least verbally.   
**FLASH**  
Crash landing in the desert, Yinsen death still fresh on his mind. Dehydration and burns on his skin as he tries to stumble away from where he had been. Away from the death and sight of his own weapons being used against people he was trying to save. The nights filled with the sounds of violence and slowly thinking no one would come save him. And then there was Rhodey, and he was saved. Kinda. Because even once he was home with Pepper and Happy and Rhodey he wasn’t safe.  
**FLASH**  
Obadiah taking the arc reactor from his body. Paralyzed and dying as the man he thought he knew leaves him behind. Unable to do anything, unable to survive… if it hadn’t been for Dumm-E and Rhody…  
**FLASH**  
The wormhole, an army of aliens ready to jump to earth. His eyes falling shut as he thought he died. Plummeting to earth, no control over his body or the suit.  
**FLASH**  
Aldrich Killian and the Extremis program. Being locked to a bed frame. Watching someone he once knew being shot before him. The fear that shot through him as he sees Pepper burning up, in pain.   
**FLASH**  
Ultron and Sirkovia. The guilt, the fear. The city flying high above the ground. Trying to save everyone. And knowing people will still die.   
**FLASH**  
Siberia. A battle between two mates. The deep painful scars as he’s left behind. There to freeze and die, unable to leave. And a voice in his head saying… “your alpha left you… its your fault… it's your fault…”  
**FLASH**  
The month after the battle, healing and then being alone in the tower. Wandering around like the living dead. A mirror and his own face sneering back at him. Invisible blood dripping from healing wounds, bruises marring his body. “You’re pathetic. Couldn’t even keep the one you’re destined for. What use are you? The great Tony Stark. Nothing more than an useless omega. Broken and left behind by his mate.”  
**FLASH**  
His own voice chanting in his head and then- “TONY!”  
And Tony’s eyes flash open, gasping for breath as he stares up into the face of his mate. He shudders as the other wraps him in a tight hug. Breathing harsh and ragged as he tries to take in deep breaths to steady himself and calm down. But it's not enough, the panic is still there.   
“Tony you’re ok. You’re ok. You’re here.” Steve rubs a hand over the others back, soothing words falling from his lips as he tries to calm Tony down. Finally Tony seems to settle some, Steve let's his arms loosen so he can look down at the other. “Talk to me?” Tony shakes his head, one hand fisting in the others shirt.  
“The… memories… at night they consume me… and… and I don't want to… don't want to go back. Pepper… she knows… I've gotten better. I haven't… in a long time.” Steve understands, gently picking the other up and cradling him in his arms.  
“You're ok. I'll stay with you, ok? Lets… let's go to the couch and try to get some sleep.” He carries the other over to his couch in the lab. Moving to lay back and hold the other to his chest. Pulling a blanket over them. “Sleep Tony, sleep.” The other slowly goes limp in his arms, eyes shutting. As he falls asleep a whisper slips from his lips.  
“Thanks.”


	7. Chapter 7- I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony have a heart to heart, and then go on a date. 
> 
> Lyrics  
> "When I wanted to cry  
> I couldn't cause I   
> Wasn't allowed  
> Gomennasai for everything  
> Gomennasai I know I let you down...  
> Gomennasai 'till the end."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey 2 chapters in one day! This one is a bit more fluffy but also has to deal with their emotions in counseling. Hope everyone still likes it. We're almost at 10 chapters now! PS- I wrote this while I have a low grade fever and the stomach flu so if there's a bunch of mistakes I'm really sorry. I tried to go over it but sometimes I miss things.

When Tony wakes the next morning it takes him a while to realize what he’s laying against, and why there is this thick smell of alpha in his nose. Blinking to get the fog from his eyes he finally focuses on the chest beneath him. Eyes flicking up to see Steve’s sleeping face. He takes a moment to study the other, eyes mapping over the planes of his face and down over his thick arms. Arms that hold Tony close to his chest. Close while not being suffocating or too tight. Tony sighs and lays his head against the others chest. Taking another moment where he just breathes in the others scent. Cinnamon and nutmeg, apples, vanilla ice cream, a hint of caramel, and then the slight scent of musk and bacon at the end. While many would think it was too sweet for an alpha Tony thought it was perfect. And so American it made him want to snort. The other smelled like stereotypical american desserts. Which Tony would probably have to tease him about. But later.   
“Hey… Hey cap. Time to wake up. Wake up and let the omega go.” he gently speaks to the other, trying to shake his arm. “I need to go get dressed and pee. Come on Steve.” He can tell the other is waking, his eyes flickering slightly. But instead of the others arms loosening so he can get up they tighten to hold him close. A grumble falling from his lips before his eyes open completely and he yawns.   
“Huh?” He blinks, looking down at the other held tight in his arms. “Oh… Morning Tony.” He gives a small smile, and it shoots through to Tony’s heart. Tony can’t help the blush that sprawls over his cheeks as he watches the other move to rub his face. “What time is it anyway?” Steve asks the other and blinks at him slowly. Tony clears his throat before speaking.  
“Time to let the omega up.” He teases lightly, watching as the other realizes he is holding him close. Then sees the small heat of red flush across the others face. Chuckling softly Steve lets go and watches as Tony moves to stand, stretching slightly his shirt pulls up across his belly and the omega groans. Steve slowly sits up and rubs his hair, moving to talk to the AI.  
“FRIDAY? What time is it?” He asks curiously. Waiting for the AI to answer as he stands and does his own stretching, looking over the omega.   
“It is currently 9:05 on Tuesday the 16th. May I remind you both that you have a counseling appointment tonight at 1:30 and tomorrow is date night.” Tony huffs and nods, moving to type something on his computer before turning to then move over to Steve.   
“Thank you FRIDAY.” The genius sounds amused as he talks to the AI. Giving a small smile, not one of his sarcastic ones but a genuine smile, to Steve. “Come on Cap lets go get ready and then see if breakfast is on or if we need to herd everyone into the kitchen.” He takes Steve’s hand and tugs him to the elevator. Stepping in with him and putting their floors in the elevators computer as they head up. “And… Thanks Cap. For last night.” Tony mumbles softly as the elevator stops at his floor. Waving he heads out and to his bedroom. Moving to go get ready and leaving a stunned Steve behind.   
The elevator ride is quiet and Steve finally heads into his bedroom, moving to get ready for the day. When they arrive to the kitchen later its to Natasha and Bruce cooking breakfast, the table set and others sitting around talking and goofing off. Moving to help in the kitchen Steve begins to plate food up for everyone. Surprised at the sight of Natasha’s famous french toast with a quiche and fresh fruit. Natasha hardly ever cooks so the food is always a treat when she does. Bruce finally finishes the bacon and moves to help bring trays and pitchers of orange juice and iced coffee to the table. 

The day had gone by relatively fast. Tony heading to the lab to work on upgrades for everyone and Steve moving to workout and then being led to an art studio that had been set up and locked before the Sokovia accords. When 1:00 rolls around FRIDAY sends out an alert to both parties and tells them to finish up. Meanwhile lighting up the route for Doctor Jung. The Doctor sets up the room and makes sure everything is in place for the appointment. And then Steve and Tony arrive. Carefully entering the room and moving to sit down. Tony has a tablet in his hands and Steve has a notebook.   
Doctor Jung gives a small smile and motions for them to sit down, moving to sit as well and beginning to talk to them. The carefully go over the journals and then dive into Tony’s nightmare and how to deal with future issues. She then bounces over to Steve and asks him about his week and his emotions. Steve sighs and looks down at his notebook. Fiddling lightly before finally speaking.   
“The overwhelming feeling was guilt.” He says softly, “A little sadness and worry but mostly guilt. And… logically I know a lot of it is my alpha half. Telling me I betrayed my mate. I hurt him, I abandoned him. And how DARE I do that. But still… the guilt is there. And it's drowning.” He takes a deep shuddering breath. “And I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry. I don’t deserve him and I can’t help but feel that everything is my fault. If I had been less stubborn, if I had just SEEN…” and he cuts off as Tony lays a hand on his arm.   
“Steve… Steve look at me. Take a deep breath and look at me.” He whispers softly, coaxing the other to turn to him. “It's not just your fault. You think I don’t have that guilt too? That guilt that comes in waves and overwhelms you? For me it's more how I should have just told you. If I had told you I was your mate none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have been trying so hard to hide it that I hurt everyone and pushed you all away. If I had just told you I was an omega it would have all been better… but I didn’t. I choose to hide it all and that is my fault. And I am going to have to live with that.” He cups the others face, “like you will live with your guilt.” Steve chokes on a sob, not sure what to say. And that's when Doctor Jung interrupts.   
“Everyone has to live with the guilt of what they have done. But with time and each others help you will heal. Will it happen today? No probably not. There’s a good chance it won’t happen for years. But over time you will find that hurt and guilt fading. If you work together and try I am sure you will even be able to heal from the past. And while your nightmares may never leave you, you will have someone there to help you through them.” She speaks softly, watching as Steve lays his head against the others neck.   
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, voice sounding so broken. “I’m so sorry.” Tony holds him, running his hands over his back and then speaks as well.   
“You’re ok. Its ok. I’m sorry too Steve. I’m sorry too.” He whispers and they slowly come back to themselves. Moving back to finish their session and then heading out to spend some time recovering. 

The next day Steve sends Tony a message through FRIDAY. Asking him what time he would like to meet up. And wondering if it's ok that Steve has made plans for their night out. He shyly adds that Tony can plan the next date, if the other would like. Tony’s lip quirks up in slight amusement and he sends off a reply. In it saying that he would be done with the work he needs to do hand’s on by 2. He could probably meet the other by the elevator on the communal floor at 2:30. If that would be ok with him. There's a pause and then a reply finally from FRIDAY.  
“Captain Rogers says- ‘That's great. Thank you Tony, uhm and don’t dress up or anything. Just be comfortable.’ End message.” Tony shakes his head, able to tell that FRIDAY is upset at being reduced to a messenger. Then he turns back to his work. Finally he finishes, setting everything up to run while he is away, and smiles. 10 minutes early. Nodding he moves and heads upstairs, determined to wash up and not smell like motor oil.   
In his room he moves to go shower, thinking about what he should pick to wear he frowns. What was the weather like? They were in NY in the spring so it was always a mystery. Pausing as he soaps up his hair he speaks out loud. Moving to talk to FRIDAY.   
“FRIDAY what is the weather like today?” He asks, moving to scrub up, and waiting to wash off because he knows if he sticks his head under the shower head he won’t hear a word she said.   
“It is currently 62 degrees fahrenheit, and will lower down to about 54 degrees by 11 o'clock tonight. May I recommend a lightweight jacket as it is a little windy?” Tony hums and nods, moving to wash off and then shaking his head to dislodge any extra water from his ears.   
“Thanks FRIDAY.” He replies hearing her slightly snarky ‘of course Mr. Stark’ before he moves to dry off. Carefully wrapping a towel around his waist when he’s mostly dry and heading out to his closet. Stepping inside he moves to pick out his clothes for the night. His favorite Black Sabbath t-shirt, a tank top under shirt in a matching grey, normal black boxers, and some slightly distressed jeans. He finishes it off with his gauntlet watch, a black belt, and a pair of black boots. He does contemplate putting a pair of studs in, but nixes the idea in case Steve isn’t used to men wearing earrings. Done he moves to dry off his hair, fixing his beard and styling his hair before he pauses.   
“Uh… FRIDAY? Can you Call Steve?” He asks, a bit nervous about what he is gonna talk to the other about. He knows the others in the Tower have noticed his omega scent by know, and were probably being quiet under threat of Natasha and Wanda, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for the outside world to know. Steve picks up on the second ring and Tony has to take a deep breath.   
“Tony? Is everything ok?” The other sounds worried and Tony wrings his hands.   
“Ah… yeah Everything is fine Steve just… I…” he bites his lip, not sure how to get it out. And then Steve talks softly.  
“Go ahead and say what you need. I won’t be mad.”   
“I… I don’t think I can go out smelling like an omega yet.” He rushes to get the words out. Voice cracking in obvious distress. And he’s not sure how to breathe for a second before he hears Steve speak again.  
“Oh! Is that all? Oh Tony of course you can put your scent blocker on again. I will miss your scent. I do love it. But I understand that there is a reason you’ve hid it for so long and that it will take time for you. So of course it’s ok for you to hide your scent again.” And Tony’s breath whooses out in releaf, blinking to hold back tears before replying.   
“Really? You… won’t get mad?”   
“Of course not Tony. I’ll see you downstairs in a bit and I promise you, I won’t be upset if you wear the scent guards. I understand.” He can hear the gentleness of the others voice before he continues, “now go finish getting ready, ok?” Tony nods, then realizes how dumb that is because the other can’t hear a nod.  
“Yeah, ok… thanks Steve.” He lets the AI hang up and moves to do a breathing exercises. Finally going to finish off by putting his scent guards on and stepping out. Moving back to his closet he grabs a lightweight leather coat and heads downstairs.   
Down on the main floor he steps out and is greeted by the sight of Steve standing, talking to Sam and Natasha as Clint and Bucky curse in the background. Blinking he quirked an eyebrow and looks past the three in the middle of the room, chuckling when he sees Clint, Bucky, and Darcy playing Mario Kart. He can only assume Darcy is in the lead by the sound of the others. Shaking his head at the immaturity he watches as Vision steps out of the kitchen, moving over and heading to sit in the living room. Obviously Wanda has kicked him out of the kitchen again.   
Steve finally looks over, a small smile flashing over his face, and he waves to the others and walks over. The alpha is wearing a beat up brown leather jacket, a plaid button down, and a pair of khakis. With that he had matching leather boots and a brown belt. A pair of sunglasses hang from his collar and the other smiles softly at him.  
“Hi Tony, ready to go?” He asks softly, smiling at him. Tony gulps slightly, how does he manage to make khaki look good? He can't help wondering before nodding and giving the other a smile in return.   
“Yeah. Curious about what the centaurian has in mind for a date.” He teases, “we gonna go to a dance?” He watches as Steve’s lips quirk up, obviously able to tell the other is teasing this time before shaking his head.  
“It's a surprise. Come on.” Steve takes his hand and moves to the elevator. Pressing the button for the garage before glancing at the other. “You ok riding on my bike?” He asks, a little curious. Tony blinks and then nods.  
“Ah yeah, I don’t mind. Think I have some spare helmets down there too… you know for the normal people who aren’t adrenaline junkies.” He joaks again and watches as Steve blushes.   
“Helmets weren’t a thing when I was alive… I tend to forget them now.” He mumbles by way of explanation and watches as Tony nods.   
“That makes a lot of sense actually. Ok so you get to pick out a helmet too. Just because you have super healing abilities doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt if we crash.” The elevator doors open and Tony leads steve to his selection of helmets. Mostly things he had picked out in college, when he had still been obsessed with Captain America who fought in WWII and rode a motorcycle into war.   
They take a moment to look them over before picking out helmets and then moving to Steve’s old Harley. It was something Tony had fixed up in college and then kept in storage. When the other had been found he had donated it to SHIELD under the orders that it went to Captain America, something he never told the other. Climbing up onto the bike after Steve is on he has to hold on tight. Soon they are riding through the streets of New York- Steve drives a little dangerously if Tony is honest- and then arriving in Brooklyn. The other drives them to a diner, the sign outside of it happily exclaims ‘here since 1928!’ And tony can’t help the grin that crosses his face.   
Steve parks the bike and then they climb off. Hooking their helmets to the bike and then taking Tony’s hand. He gives a small smile and leads the other to the diner happily. Stepping inside he waves at the waitress, leading Tony to a corner booth. Seats made of vinyl and tables a stereotype for the old Soda Shoppe. Tony sits down and smiles slightly, shaking his head as he looks around. It was obvious bits and pieces had been updated, but it was also obvious that it was probably just as true to Steve’s memories. There's a slight clearing of a throat and Tony looks back at Steve.   
“I know it’s probably not what you’re used too… Buck and I used to come here when we were at college and all. But The food is really good, and there's more options than back then. And I just thought it would be nice to take you somewhere from when I was young.” He gives a small smile to the omega and Tony returns it easily.  
“Its nice. A good change of pace. But I’m gonna have to trust you with what’s good here.” He smiles as the other blinks and then nods.   
“Ok. I can order for us then.” He looks up, calling over the waitress who obviously knows him as more than just Captain America. She comes over and smiles at him, sharing a few pleasantries about her nana and then taking his order. “A bacon burger with fries a half calf coffee and one of the small mocha shakes. And then a double bacon burger, onion rings, a medium chocolate malt, a vanilla coke and a side salad.” The waitress nods and pops a bubble of her gum before speaking.  
“Nana made her apple crumble and cinnamon ice cream. You better save room for dessert.” She then gives a nod and moves to go put the order in. Then they turn back to each other, enjoying each others presence and moving to talk to each other. Light conversation until the food comes. And then Tony takes his first bite.  
“Oh my god!” He groans lightly and then moves to eat more, “this is so good!” He can’t stop himself taking large bites as he eats fast. Steve grins and looks at him.   
“I know right? Marie’s family always made the best burgers.” Steve chuckles and moves to eat as well, salad plate empty and moving to devour his own burger. When it comes down to the sides Tony waves a fry around.  
“Seriously this place is a hidden gem. This food is fantastic.” Steve grins and nods, chuckling as Tony moves to devour his fries and shake.   
“Yeah, wait until dessert. Best pie I’ve ever had. No soggy bottom.” Steve chuckles and they finish their meals. Steve carefully stacks everything at the end of the table, watching as the waitress comes and clears it he thanks her. Turning back to Tony he bites his lip, reaching across to take the others hand. “After this theres a movie showing… I bought tickets already. I thought we could go see that and then maybe get a small snack at central park?” Tony smiles and squeezes his hand, it had been a long time since he had last had a normal date.   
“That sounds great. But first, pie.” He grins as the pie comes to the table, asking for a refill on his coffee and then moving to eat the pie happily. 

Later, after the movie and a nice walk around Central park, where they had fed the ducks in the canal and gotten pretzels from a street vendor, they head home. Moving to the tower on the bike and then parking before heading up. It's fairly quiet, both tired from their long day. Tony wants to head downstairs but Steve instead steers them back up to their floors. Moving to Tony’s room he steps out and walks the other to his bedroom. He bites his lip and looks up at the other.   
“I had a good time… thank you for going out with me Tony… did you… did you have fun today?” He asks softly, peeking up at the other. Tony smiles and gives a small nod.  
“I did. It was a good day. A nice date.” He takes the others hand, and gives a small smile. “Now… you’ve walked me home. Do you know what that means for now?” He asks softly, tilting his head. Watching as Steve’s eyes flick back up to his own. Steve blinks, eyes flicking to the omega’s lips and then back up. Tony gives a small smile and inclines his head lightly. Steve bites his lip, leaning in slightly, eyes flicking back to Tony’s to make sure this is ok. And then he presses their lips together.   
Steve was intending for it to be a light kiss, just a feint press of lips. But instead, the moment his lips touch the others it becomes a soul-wrenching mind-blowing deep kiss. All that he can taste is the other on his lips. A hand moving up to cup his head and the other arm wrapping around the omega and holding him close. The slight tilt of Tony’s head allowing Steve to deepen the kiss farther. Both mates taking their time exploring each others lips. Minds caught in a haze of the other. And then Tony reaches up to push the other gently, urging him back.   
It takes a moment but Steve pulls away, eyes tinged with red and chest heaving as he looks down at the other male. The omega’s eyes are slightly blue around the edges, and he gives a small smile. His own chest heaving and cheeks pink as he gives a small smile.  
“Well.. that was unexpected.” He gives a small chuckle, “I guess instinct is stronger than we thought.” He smiles at him, taking his hand. “Not that I didn’t like it… but uhm…” he coughs, “I kinda stopped remembering to breathe so…” He trails off giving a shy grin and Steve can’t help a laugh that falls from his lips.  
“Me too… which since I used to be asthmatic isn’t something I normally forget.” He sheepishly smiles and squeezes the others hand, “anyway… night Tony. I had a good time. I’ll see you in the morning, ok?” Tony smiles and nods, reaching up to kiss his cheek and rub it lightly. And then they separate, Tony heading inside and Steve heading back to the elevator and up to his floor.


	8. Chapter 8- In The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Steve's turn for a nightmare, but his is more than memories. The guilt is consuming him, can Tony snap some sense into him or will the alpha break apart as well? 
> 
> Lyrics  
> "I tried so hard  
> And got so far  
> But in the end  
> It doesn't even matter  
> I had to fall  
> To lose it all"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tired and sick feeling. I hope this chapter is ok, it was kinda hard to write to be honest.   
> Tomorrow I go see endgame but this will be staying the same as I've had planned so there won't be any spoilers here.

Steve sighs and wipes a hand over his face, finally clean shaven as he looks into the mirror. He takes a deep breath, moving to splash water over his face and then wipe it off. Turning the lights off he moves to his bed, glad that the other had made it harder on purpose. Stripping down to his boxers he climbs into the bed and moves to curl up in the blankets and fall asleep. He’s asleep for what feels like a moment before the dreams come. It begins the same as it always has been. World War II, and watching Bucky plummet to his death.   
_‘Just a little father,’ he thinks, reaching out for the others hand. He strains, trying to keep on the train while still reaching for the other. But then it snapped, and Bucky fell._  
“NO!” He screams out, gasping as he stumbles back on the train. Gasping as he watches as once again the other dies again. It replays in his mind as the world spins around him. Gasping for breath and just holding back the tears at the idea of his only remaining family dieing and him being unable to save him.   
Trying so hard to drink the pain away but body metabolizing the alcohol so fast all he can do is shatter the bottle against the wall in frustration. Even Peggy couldn’t do anything to calm his rage. To stop his recklessness.   
Then there was that night on the roof. Finding out that Bucky was alive, and the horror at what had been done to his friend. The day on the helicarrier, begging for the other to recognize him. For just a glimmer. Because he can’t kill him. Not his brother, his family. And he thought it would be ok for a while. But then everyone was blaming Bucky, and Steve knew he hadn’t done what they claimed. But no one would listen.   
In Siberia, but it was different this time, his mind knew. And it was ringing out, ‘you’re going to regret this.’ And then Tony was there, and they saw the video. Tony wheels around, hurt and anger and fear all rolling off him in waves. And the other attacks Bucky. Channeling all his emotions into rage.   
‘You’re going to regret this.’ Steve’s alpha side whispers to him, ‘all your life you can not run from the guilt. But this will be more.’ There's a flash and it's like he’s watching himself, unable to stop it from happening as he fights Tony. Watching as he inflicts the pain onto his own mate. And there's another of him sneering at him, so condescending as the alpha side speaks.   
‘You’ll kill your own mate. And for what? Another alpha? How useless do you have to be.’ The alpha side moves behind him, yanking his head back, ‘watch. Watch what you did and know… he’ll never forgive you.’   
And all Steve can do is watch, but instead of just knocking the omega down he moves faster. Stronger, harder, and he beats Tony senseless. The omega’s armor falling from him in shattered bits as the nightmare continues. Blood dripping from his open wounds, eyes heavy and face badly bruised the omega looks up at Steve.  
“Steve, please…” the omega’s voice is broken, blood being coughed up as he pleads. “Please Steve, please no.” He pleads and Steve can’t do anything but watch as his own body picks up a gun and shoots the omega through his head.  
“ **NOOO! TONY NO!** ” The alpha screams out, trapped as he watches the other version of himself turn to walk away. Bloody, broken body of the omega left behind on the ground and then-   
“ **STEVE!** ” And Steve gasps out, eyes flying open and shaking as he tried to get his bearings. Hand coming up to grip the body above him in reflex. And then his eyes focus and he’s gasping again, stumbling back and shaking with fear. 

Tony hadn’t yet fallen asleep, instead choosing to check up on the progress of his projects downstairs and then moving to take a relaxing bath before bed. He had just come back to his room, dried and dressed in loose shorts and a tank top, when FRIDAY spoke to him.   
“Sir? Sir it would appear Captain Rogers is having a nightmare. Despite my best tries to wake him he won’t get up. I believe it would be best if you went to wake him.” The female voice speaks steadily and firmly. Tony frowns and nods, moving instead for the elevator.   
“Yeah, heading down now. Thanks FRIDAY.” He replies, waiting anxiously for the elevator to stop at the Captains floor. Once it does Tony steps out and moves to the door to his bedroom. Finding it locked he sighs and speaks up, “FRIDAY bypass the locks. He can yell at me all he wants later. Right now he needs me.”   
The AI complies almost instantly, letting Tony walk inside after a small click. When he does he comes straight into contact with the smell of distressed alpha. The other is perfectly still, not making a sound. Tony frowns and walks over, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and moving a hand to gently touch him. Right before his hand makes contact though the other starts to scream.  
“ **NOOO! TONY NO!** ” and Tony’s eyes widen, moving fast he goes to gently shake the other. Concern laced all over his face.   
“Cap… Cap, come on Cap wake up! Captain America… **STEVE!** ” And its the last time that does it, saying the others name startles him awake. The alpha’s eyes are red and unfocused, so Tony isn’t surprised when a hand shoots up to grip at his throat. But just as suddenly as it happened the hand is letting go. The others eyes black to a cool blue and his body is shaking as he backs up quickly. Tony frowns and watches as the other scrambles back from him. Hands moving to cover his ears, head going down and he shakes. The other starts mumbling, almost incomprehensible until Tony leans a little closer to him.   
“No, no, no. Not Tony. Can’t, don’t hurt, don’t hurt. No no no no no. Not Tony. Don’t hurt Tony. I didn’t mean it. Didn’t mean it. No no no…” And Tony’s frown deepens, concern racing through him. It was obviously a very bad dream. Tony carefully moves onto the bed, turning to face the alpha and letting his hands rest on his legs.   
“Hey, Steve. Steve look at me. I’m ok. You’re ok. It was a dream.” He speaks softly, gently and reassuring as he coaxes the other back out of his curled up posture. “Come here,” he reaches a hand out. “Please come here Steve?” He asks softly, “let me hold you.”   
And that seems to do it, the other moves over and takes his hand, letting the omega pull him into his arms and gently rub small circles in his back. He gently sings a song, it's in italian and he knows Steve probably can’t understand it but it was what his mother used to sing to him when he had a bad dream so it seemed fitting. When the other finally calms down enough Tony eases back a little.  
“Steve, what happened? This was more than just a nightmare…” The alpha’s eyes dance away and Tony can tell he doesn’t want to say anything. Frowning Tony pokes him, “You need to tell me. It was obviously about me and I have a feeling your guilt will just make you wallow if we don’t talk. Please… let me help you too.”   
Theres a moment of silence, the alpha turning to look at him. Blue eyes meeting golden and they stare at each other. The alpha searching to make sure the other really wants to know. The omega calm and waiting. And finally Steve lets out a small sigh, moving slightly so they are facing each other and hands moving to play with the comforter.   
“It.. it started out normal enough for my nightmares. Guilt about Bucky and fear over what had happened to him with Hydra… but then it changed. It was like I was watching myself but also… my alpha half was another person too? And it was my alpha half basically making me watch as… as I killed you. I did so much more to you than what I really did… which I guess was a play on the fact that I did hurt you so bad… but it kept getting worse and you were just lying there… like a broken doll.” He takes a shuddering breath, “and then I woke up and I was strangling you and.... Oh god Tony I could have killed you…”   
Tony can tell the other is getting hysterical again so he reaches out and cups his cheeks. Gently pulling him in and kissing his forehead. Gently spreading his omega pheromones to try and soothe the other. He hums softly until he feels the other come back down some and then pulls back to look him in his eyes.  
“But you didn’t. Not now, not then. You hurt me, yes. And it was a bad time, yes. But I’m ok. We are starting to be ok. And we will be ok.” He says softly, “I’m here with you now, ok?” And he watches the alpha nod slowly and then tilt his head down. He can tell something is still wrong with the alpha so he speaks again. “What? What haven’t you said?”   
“I… in the dream my alpha side said you would never forgive me… and I wouldn’t blame you.” He says softly, and Tony’s heart breaks some. The omega pulls him close and hugs him. Kissing his head and rocking them lightly.   
“I do though, now that I understand and am sane, I do forgive you.” He whispers, and then he feels the other shudder and a wet feeling on his shirt. He just sits there, holding the other close as he cries. Finally when they are both done crying, silent tears that had fallen down Tony’s cheeks now dry, Tony pulls the other down onto the bed. Gently tugging the blankets up over them and tucking his body against the others chest. Leaning up he pecks his lips softly and then closes his eyes.   
“Lets get some rest now, ok Steve?” He waits for a reply but instead all he hears is a slight snore, the feeling of the alphas arms holding him in place cause a small smile on his own lips as he drifts to sleep as well. Lulled by the now calm scent of the alpha.


End file.
